This weekend was nice. There was no scheduling, just enjoying family. Lane and I met up with my parents for breakfast on Saturday morning. This was especially nice since I haven't seen them since late January. I love being able to sit and chat with them. I love to watch my mom google over Lane. It is a no pressure, happy time.
Lane and I hung out most of the day, making a trip to the salon for me, while sneaking in a cut for him. The afternoon rounded out with a trip to the mall for an opportunity for him to run off some energy in the playground and for me to do some retail therapy (something I do very well!).
The 3 of us treated ourselves to a cook free dinner and went to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, Chapala. I overate on guac and chips, but it was soooo tastey!
I became reacquainted with my dear friend, the treadmill on Sunday morning. Did a 2 mile run/walk combo. I really need to get my butt in gear to be wedding dress perfect! Lane and I did crunches together and laughed a lot. Laundry was done, dinner was made, snuggle time was had.
Now back to the grind! Happy Monday!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Behavior struggles brought to light
My Wednesday was filled with the slight chaos of an unscheduled appointment and all of the shifts in a schedule it can bring. Lane was originally scheduled to go to his therapist next Friday (which was a reschedule due to a family emergency 2 wks ago by the doc) but around 10:30 I got a call saying that there had been a cancellation and they could see Lane at 2. This worked out best for work, so I took a half day and shuttled Lane to his appointment.
Each time we go, I learn so much more about myself, as a parent and about Lane, as a child. The overall focus of this appointment was the doc bringing to light the idea that Lane might be ADD or ADHD. This is something he has been seeing and hearing during our previous sessions. I have to say, as a mom, it hurt to hear. He had me read over a list of symptoms that individuals with this condition typically possess. It was startling how many of the bullet points correlated with Lane's behavior.
Last night also brought the dreaded conversation with Lane's dad. That went better than I had expected, but at the same time, I felt that he was hesitant in believing the findings. Today, the therapist is going to contact him and discuss the situation further. I pray that he sees that Lane needs the stability that he gets here and that the lengthy amount of time away could end up causing more harm to him.
Today brings more phone calls to Doctor's, emails to his teacher, etc to try to get the best plan panned out for Lane. It can be so hard at times to keep that parent facade up, when all you want to do is hug your baby and wish they didn't have to go through the struggles that they are faced with. I am hoping that together, we can all come up with the best plan to help Lane and make this transition as painless as possible.
I hope everyone has a happy Thursday! Date night with my honey tonight, which will be a welcomed distraction :)
Each time we go, I learn so much more about myself, as a parent and about Lane, as a child. The overall focus of this appointment was the doc bringing to light the idea that Lane might be ADD or ADHD. This is something he has been seeing and hearing during our previous sessions. I have to say, as a mom, it hurt to hear. He had me read over a list of symptoms that individuals with this condition typically possess. It was startling how many of the bullet points correlated with Lane's behavior.
Last night also brought the dreaded conversation with Lane's dad. That went better than I had expected, but at the same time, I felt that he was hesitant in believing the findings. Today, the therapist is going to contact him and discuss the situation further. I pray that he sees that Lane needs the stability that he gets here and that the lengthy amount of time away could end up causing more harm to him.
Today brings more phone calls to Doctor's, emails to his teacher, etc to try to get the best plan panned out for Lane. It can be so hard at times to keep that parent facade up, when all you want to do is hug your baby and wish they didn't have to go through the struggles that they are faced with. I am hoping that together, we can all come up with the best plan to help Lane and make this transition as painless as possible.
I hope everyone has a happy Thursday! Date night with my honey tonight, which will be a welcomed distraction :)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Please pass the TP
When I get frustrated, I bite my nails. I started today off with long ones, and am now down to stubs. Why?? Let me tell you why...
As I was leaving daycare this morning a mom stops me and says that her child was hit by Lane. I proceeded to apologize to her for his behavior if he indeed hit them and assured her that hitting has been something that Lane has made vast improvements on in past months (case in point...he has gone from receiving approximately 19 incident reports in a week to MAYBE 1 a month!) BIG IMPROVEMENT!!! She agreed with me there and said that she too could tell a difference...then proceeded to tell me that if Lane hit her child again, she would call the board of directors on him. At first I was taken aback and didn't say much and before I knew it, the conversation was over.
Back in my car, my frustrations began to grow. First of all, names are not written on incident reports, so she is asking her child, and I am sure they are saying Lane's name. BUT there is no way of knowing if her child is telling the truth (I have to say, that she is one of those mom's who thinks her poop don't stink, ya know what I mean?). My mama claws began to come out and I called daycare to get the low down on the situation. They said that she had spoken to them and they can't be positive that it is Lane who hit her child. The lady also said "they ARE schoolagers and it happens." Exactly, it HAPPENS!! Also, who is to say that her child didn't provoke the situation?
Now, I know better than anyone how Lane can be, but in my heart of hearts, I know that he is not a bad kid and has worked tremendously hard to improve his behavior. I really wish I was the confrontational type, because after she left, I felt bad for not sticking up more for my child. Does Lane mess up from time to time? Absolutely, but in some cases I can guarantee that it is not completely his fault. I feel that he has more than proved himself in his actions. Luckily, the folks at daycare have too seen the improvement in him and know that we are taking continued steps to make that improvement grow even more. *sigh*
The sarcastic side of me wants to take her some TP and tell her to stop and take a whiff, but I will politely wait and let the appropriate people handle the situation. :)
As I was leaving daycare this morning a mom stops me and says that her child was hit by Lane. I proceeded to apologize to her for his behavior if he indeed hit them and assured her that hitting has been something that Lane has made vast improvements on in past months (case in point...he has gone from receiving approximately 19 incident reports in a week to MAYBE 1 a month!) BIG IMPROVEMENT!!! She agreed with me there and said that she too could tell a difference...then proceeded to tell me that if Lane hit her child again, she would call the board of directors on him. At first I was taken aback and didn't say much and before I knew it, the conversation was over.
Back in my car, my frustrations began to grow. First of all, names are not written on incident reports, so she is asking her child, and I am sure they are saying Lane's name. BUT there is no way of knowing if her child is telling the truth (I have to say, that she is one of those mom's who thinks her poop don't stink, ya know what I mean?). My mama claws began to come out and I called daycare to get the low down on the situation. They said that she had spoken to them and they can't be positive that it is Lane who hit her child. The lady also said "they ARE schoolagers and it happens." Exactly, it HAPPENS!! Also, who is to say that her child didn't provoke the situation?
Now, I know better than anyone how Lane can be, but in my heart of hearts, I know that he is not a bad kid and has worked tremendously hard to improve his behavior. I really wish I was the confrontational type, because after she left, I felt bad for not sticking up more for my child. Does Lane mess up from time to time? Absolutely, but in some cases I can guarantee that it is not completely his fault. I feel that he has more than proved himself in his actions. Luckily, the folks at daycare have too seen the improvement in him and know that we are taking continued steps to make that improvement grow even more. *sigh*
The sarcastic side of me wants to take her some TP and tell her to stop and take a whiff, but I will politely wait and let the appropriate people handle the situation. :)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Amanda Jo
Today, my friends, has been a rough one. 6 years ago today, I lost one of my closest friends to a car accident. When people die who are at older age, it somehow seems more accepted in a way since they are perceived as having lived a good life. When someone dies at the age of 23, it comes as a shock in more ways than one. In many ways, their lives are just beginning, they are just starting to figure out who they are and what they want their life to be made up of. In an instant, that can all be taken away, leaving them gone and leaving their family and loved ones with a void, never being able to be filled. The day I found out Amanda and her boyfriend, Jason had died the previous evening in a car accident is a day that will forever be etched in my mind. In a mere moment, the breath was taken from my chest and hysterics came in large, submerging waves. The idea that she was gone, was something that I could not even begin to comprehend. We all live our lives in this type of denial, thinking that the unthinkable could never happen to us...until it does.
When Amanda passed, I was 8 months pregnant with Lane. I flew home the next day, knowing that missing her last goodbye was not possible. I lived those next days in a daze. 2 wakes and 2 funerals in as many days. I felt that my life was ripped apart and couldn't begin to think of picking up the pieces. To this day, there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of her, wondering what her life would be like today. I still find myself reaching for the phone to call her when things happen that I know she would love.
A month and 8 days after her passing, I had Lane and my grief grew to higher levels than I ever imagined. I was then able to understand the love that a parent has for their child, and the idea of losing them brought me to my knees. I grieved for her parents, her brother, her family. Though my pain was great, their pain was even more.
Throughout the years, I have been able to slowly move forward, able to live my life without the daily struggle of grief. I feel her around me, letting me know that she's ok. I still have my selfish moments, wanting her here, yet am comforted with the idea that she is in a place we all hope to be. So until then, I can look forward to the day until we can laugh together again, telling each other our crazy stories, until I can feel her hugs.
So, my friends, hug your loved ones tight tonight. Let them know you love them to the moon and back.
When Amanda passed, I was 8 months pregnant with Lane. I flew home the next day, knowing that missing her last goodbye was not possible. I lived those next days in a daze. 2 wakes and 2 funerals in as many days. I felt that my life was ripped apart and couldn't begin to think of picking up the pieces. To this day, there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of her, wondering what her life would be like today. I still find myself reaching for the phone to call her when things happen that I know she would love.
A month and 8 days after her passing, I had Lane and my grief grew to higher levels than I ever imagined. I was then able to understand the love that a parent has for their child, and the idea of losing them brought me to my knees. I grieved for her parents, her brother, her family. Though my pain was great, their pain was even more.
Throughout the years, I have been able to slowly move forward, able to live my life without the daily struggle of grief. I feel her around me, letting me know that she's ok. I still have my selfish moments, wanting her here, yet am comforted with the idea that she is in a place we all hope to be. So until then, I can look forward to the day until we can laugh together again, telling each other our crazy stories, until I can feel her hugs.
So, my friends, hug your loved ones tight tonight. Let them know you love them to the moon and back.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Lucky Girl
Since I have shared the news of my engagement to Dave, I thought it would be relevant to tell you a little bit more about the guy who has my heart. Dave and I met 2 years ago when he came to where I work and interviewed for a position. From the get go, I thought he was attractive (he says the same about me!) but thought he was out of my league. He seemed very professional and quiet. Me..I'm professional, but quiet is not something I possess! When around him, I found myself trying to talk to him about anything and everything. When he would walk away I would sit and cower my head as I replayed the conversation, realizing that I sounded like a complete idiot! I was so nervous around him and would constantly stumble my words, making relatively no sense at all! We went on this way for well over a year, until I became interested in the whole running thing. Before we knew it, we were running together, talking about everything under the sun. I was surprised at the amount we had in common. He made me laugh and gave me so much encouragement throughout my running struggles.
Almost a year ago, he FINALLY made the first move!! I had recently moved into a new apartment, which happened to be across the street from his condo. I innocently texted him one evening asking how a cooking class was going that he was taking with his mom. He later texted back stating that he had wine if I had glasses...come on now, it was TOTALLY obvious! So we sat and talked over wine and have been together ever since! :)
We have definitely had our share of struggles but have learned so much about each other and our relationship each time. It is crazy that I get to be with someone who respects and loves me no matter what. Coming from past relationships, I honestly thought that this kind of love wasn't in the cards for a girl like me. I pictured Lane and myself living our life. Now, we get the great addition of a man who loves us both!
Almost a year ago, he FINALLY made the first move!! I had recently moved into a new apartment, which happened to be across the street from his condo. I innocently texted him one evening asking how a cooking class was going that he was taking with his mom. He later texted back stating that he had wine if I had glasses...come on now, it was TOTALLY obvious! So we sat and talked over wine and have been together ever since! :)
We have definitely had our share of struggles but have learned so much about each other and our relationship each time. It is crazy that I get to be with someone who respects and loves me no matter what. Coming from past relationships, I honestly thought that this kind of love wasn't in the cards for a girl like me. I pictured Lane and myself living our life. Now, we get the great addition of a man who loves us both!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
School conference recap
Last night Lane had his second set of school conferences. As a parent, I am still adjusting to this part of the job. It is so surreal to me to be sitting there, in those tiny seats, talking about Lane's progress. I can't believe that I have a child half way done with his kindergarten experience! :( Thankfully though, the meeting went well! Lane is doing great on many levels, yet still needs some work on his writing. To him, that stuff is boring. Little does he know, that we will now be implementing a nightly writing routine to get him caught up! This whole education business is big stuff in my house. School will always be numero UNO! Growing up, this wasn't a problem for me, but I did see my siblings get privileges and beloved possessions get taken away quite frequently for their lack of learning. I am not opposed to do the same with my kid(s). Even at his young age, I am trying to teach Lane that the most important quality he can posses is knowledge. The boy is smarter than he realizes but needs to learn to apply himself in order to reach his full potential. With his mama constantly looking over his shoulder, hopefully he will learn quickly! :)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Dinnertime dilemma
Dinnertime and Lane have always been a stressful combination. The child takes bird sized bites and tends to jabber his jaws a bit too much, causing dinnertime to go on...and on...and on. I previously mentioned that when dinner is ready, we now start a timer for 30 minutes. This is the length of time Lane gets to finish his meal. Though this time limit is helping, Dave and I are constantly telling him to focus, take a bite, sit right, etc. It makes dinnertime very stressful and chaotic.
Lane also tries to pull the potty trick. He will say he has to go REALLY bad, which then turns into a tantrum when we refuse to let him go. (our rule is that once you are at the table, you are there until you are done). Last night, this was the exact scenario that played out. Lane was nibbling away until Dave asked him to turn his chair correctly. It started with little whines, then moved to I have to go potty, and finally climaxed when he was put in timeout. The thing is, is that Dave and I both know that Lane truly does not have to go to the bathroom. When we tell him of this knowledge, it completely sets him off and we begin the cycle of timeout.
Maybe we should start making him go potty before dinner, causing him no more excuses. I have also contemplated the idea of no longer bickering at him to eat his dinner, in the hopes that eventually he will get a clue. But then there is the mom side of me who thinks that he will be hungry and that it's my job to make sure he gets enough to eat. HELP!! Please tell me that some other parents out there are either experiencing my same struggles or have been in my situation before.
Lets hope tonight brings with it a better outcome.
Lane also tries to pull the potty trick. He will say he has to go REALLY bad, which then turns into a tantrum when we refuse to let him go. (our rule is that once you are at the table, you are there until you are done). Last night, this was the exact scenario that played out. Lane was nibbling away until Dave asked him to turn his chair correctly. It started with little whines, then moved to I have to go potty, and finally climaxed when he was put in timeout. The thing is, is that Dave and I both know that Lane truly does not have to go to the bathroom. When we tell him of this knowledge, it completely sets him off and we begin the cycle of timeout.
Maybe we should start making him go potty before dinner, causing him no more excuses. I have also contemplated the idea of no longer bickering at him to eat his dinner, in the hopes that eventually he will get a clue. But then there is the mom side of me who thinks that he will be hungry and that it's my job to make sure he gets enough to eat. HELP!! Please tell me that some other parents out there are either experiencing my same struggles or have been in my situation before.
Lets hope tonight brings with it a better outcome.
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