AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, SCREEEAAAMMMM.....ok, I feel slightly better. My oh my, life is getting the best of me today and it has only just begun. Today starts the whirlwind of the move, which is eleveating my anxiety to skyscraper proportions. My house is in complete shambles with the items still needing to be packed and I am left at my emotional limit. I am struggling with keeping myself in check all while being mom, fiance, coworker, bride-to-be who is in the final stages of planning her wedding which is just 23 days away, etc... I feel like my plate is about to crack with all the extra weight on it. Yes, I know I should ask for help in times like these, but it is SO hard for me to ask for or accept it. I am REALLY trying, promise!

Last night, Dave and I were on the hunt for a new washer and dryer for our new digs. My goodness, that turned into a fiasco. I guess this time of year is the time when peeps need new appliances, as 2 of the 3 stops were out of the models we were interested in. We finally found a set at the 3rd place. Lets pray that it is still there today so we can have it delivered on Saturday. I am a crazy girl when it comes to my laundry so I NEED my washer and dryer!! Keep your fingers crossed for me today! PLEASE!

Last night was also filled with the not so fun conversation with Lane's dad regarding the recent developments on his behavior. These conversations always make my blood boil as I feel like I am having to explain my parenting to him and defend my decisions regarding Lane and his care. But, as Lane's mom, I have to have the respect to tell him. It is so difficult, because his dad hasn't personally seen Lane when he is at his worst. He has heard him over the phone at times when I have called him during an episode, but he has never seen him try to scratch, pinch, hit, etc. He has rarely heard the screams and phrases that come out of his mouth. To that effect, it's is pretty much a he said she said type of deal where I feel like he is doubting the severity of Lane's condition and my level of parenting. Is this the actual case? I can't say for sure, but that is how I feel when the conversation ends.

I am really gonna try to be positive today. I have a ton of good things happening around me and I need to appreciate that. I hope you all have a great day! It is the perfect fall morning here, which is a definite highlight for me. I LOVE fall and all that comes with it! :)