Lane learned to ride his bike this weekend without two very important accessories...his training wheels. This has been an idea for quite some time, yet something he wasn't quite ready to partake in. He has been afraid to fall. Afraid to fail. And so, his rides continued with his safety net. This weekend, however, was a different story. Dave and I played up the whole "no training wheels" idea BIG TIME. Just like that, Lane was on board and helped Dave take of the wheels. Without hesitation he got on and away we went. Dave and I took turns riding behind him until he found his balance. Then...he was on his own. Pedaling away. Wow. Throughout, he definitely had his share of struggles and frustrations but always got back up and on. Before we knew it, he was riding like a pro. Feelings of sadness that this is yet another milestone he has hit, yet deep pride in his ability to not give up and try until he accomplishes his goal overcame me. Seeing the joy in his face. The excitement. It was all priceless.
Lane's journey to ride without training wheels made me think of how many of us live our lives with a certain cushion or set of wheels gently guiding us through. So many of us are afraid to fail, to hurt, to feel. We put up these walls for protection, yet in that process miss out on so many other things that life has to offer. I know that I am definitely one of these people. I have lived my life with wall upon wall erected around me. These walls were made to protect me from the negative, but in turn, have also kept me from many positive things in my life. So, I think it's time to put on my hard hat, grab a mallet and start punching them down.
Maybe today is a chance for all of us to take of the training wheels. To live today without our cushion, allowing us to feel what is out there.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Happy 1st Day of April
Today is Friday, FINALLY. Also, today is the first of April, meaning pranksters are up to no good! I myself have never cared for April Fools day for 2 primary reasons. 1) I am never clever enough to think of something to do 2) I don't like being pranked. YES, you can call me a poor sport, but I have never gotten into the whole practical joke thing.
Today though, it was quite amusing to see my boss walk into his office and have everything turned upside down and drawers switched around. I was definitely not the mastermind of this sneaky plot. Though others succeeded in fooling him, I found myself feeling for him when he rearranged his drawers. See, he too is OCD like me, and my anxiety level went up just watching him reorganize!! He though, is a much better sport than I, and quickly went into retaliation mode. Not sure what he has planned for pay back!
This day always reminds me of my brother and his love for the "holiday". The best one he pulled on my was putting serane wrap between the toilet seat to catch my tinkle! Punk. It does make me laugh today though.
Today is also mine and Dave's 1 yr anniversary! He hasn't gotten rid of me yet! In 190 days, it will be legal and he has to keep me FOREVER!
Have a great weekend!
Today though, it was quite amusing to see my boss walk into his office and have everything turned upside down and drawers switched around. I was definitely not the mastermind of this sneaky plot. Though others succeeded in fooling him, I found myself feeling for him when he rearranged his drawers. See, he too is OCD like me, and my anxiety level went up just watching him reorganize!! He though, is a much better sport than I, and quickly went into retaliation mode. Not sure what he has planned for pay back!
This day always reminds me of my brother and his love for the "holiday". The best one he pulled on my was putting serane wrap between the toilet seat to catch my tinkle! Punk. It does make me laugh today though.
Today is also mine and Dave's 1 yr anniversary! He hasn't gotten rid of me yet! In 190 days, it will be legal and he has to keep me FOREVER!
Have a great weekend!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Simple blessings
After writing yesterday's blog, I was so incredibly humbled and felt so loved for all of the amazing comments that my friends and family left in support for mine and Dave's decision regarding Lane and medication. Knowing that people are in our corner lifts us up, elevating us to new levels in parenting. It makes me, as a mom, feel that I am doing what is right for my child. It makes me feel that other parents think I am doing a good job. Though we shouldn't care what others think or feel about us, the truth is that we all do. Knowing that other people think I am a good mom brings smiles to my lips and fuzzies inside.
I realize that I am surrounded by the most amazing people. People who are just a phone call away when I need words of encouragement. Their arms are open when I need a hug. Ears are perked when I need to vent. I am so in awe of these people that God has blessed me with.
It is so easy to focus on the negative (something I greatly tend to do) but then when I stop and look around, I know that I have so much more than I give myself credit for. I have girlfriends that are irreplaceable, parents who have always pushed me to succeed and knew I wouldn't stop until I reached my goal, a fiance who amazes me daily on the amount of love he has for me. A son that words can not even begin to express the happiness he brings me. 2 great siblings, who again, are always in my corner.
This year has brought with it many struggles. Yet, as I look back, I know I have never been alone. Not even for a moment. I have had an amazing God leading me through and amazing companions by my side. Wow. How lucky am I?! How lucky are we all to have these simple blessings!!
I realize that I am surrounded by the most amazing people. People who are just a phone call away when I need words of encouragement. Their arms are open when I need a hug. Ears are perked when I need to vent. I am so in awe of these people that God has blessed me with.
It is so easy to focus on the negative (something I greatly tend to do) but then when I stop and look around, I know that I have so much more than I give myself credit for. I have girlfriends that are irreplaceable, parents who have always pushed me to succeed and knew I wouldn't stop until I reached my goal, a fiance who amazes me daily on the amount of love he has for me. A son that words can not even begin to express the happiness he brings me. 2 great siblings, who again, are always in my corner.
This year has brought with it many struggles. Yet, as I look back, I know I have never been alone. Not even for a moment. I have had an amazing God leading me through and amazing companions by my side. Wow. How lucky am I?! How lucky are we all to have these simple blessings!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
The beginning of a new journey
Wednesday was the big day meeting with Lane's physician regarding starting him on any medication for his struggles. I had mixed emotions going into the meeting. On top of those, that was the morning of Lane's puke fest, so I was feeling a bit high strung. I think within the last year, Lane has been to the doctor/therapist more times than I can remember. However, as long as it helps meet the long term goal of helping him, I am all in.
The meeting went kind of how I expected. We discussed the checklist that was given to me by the therapist and where Lane falls within that checklist. We discussed his typical behaviors, the paths we have tried thus far, their success level and such. Prescribing medication to a child at Lane's age can be difficult. The questions that are often raised are the ones pertaining to their lack of maturity and the idea that is it something that will come in time, or do we have a bigger issue on our hands? If their is a bigger issue, then the question whether to wait or not was brought up. The Dr. stated that if indeed Lane does have ADHD, it would be detrimental to him to wait until 3rd or 4th grade when his grades are behind and his behavior had worsened. I told him that I wouldn't stop until every stone was overturned in trying to figure out what was best for Lane.
We ultimately decided to try some medicine to see if it indeed would help Lane. Just filling the prescription was a struggle for me. The idea of putting my child on medicine felt wrong. I felt like I was in a way cheating him, like I was giving up. Taking the easy way out. Not able to handle it on my own. Dave and I talked about it afterwards and ultimately did decide to give him some the next morning. Thursday AM, I poured a bit of juice in a glass and emptied the tiny capsule into it, dissolving it into grape juice goodness. Down the hatch it went. Lane seemed unbothered. I, on the other hand felt torn. Would he be ok? Would anyone notice a difference? What if he had bad side effects? What would people think of me? Of him? Of us? UGH! I then emailed his teacher to let her know of our situation (I love his teacher! She is amazing!). She emailed me back that afternoon saying that Lane had a FANTASTIC day! He sat quietly, walked quietly and was eager to learn. YAHOO! I was so excited to hug him, to love on him! I was SO proud of him.
When he got home, he showed Dave and I how he could tie his shoes. This tended to be a task that would create great frustration for him, but there we sat, on the floor in the mud room watching him tie and double knot his Nike's. Amazing. He was beaming. I was beaming. Dave was beaming. That night, he was a little wound up, but I figured it was due to the excitement of his day. Dave and I tucked him in and went to bed ourselves. Before we knew it, Lane was up twice saying he wasn't tired. Finally at around 10, Dave went and sat with him for a bit trying to get him calm. All seemed quiet on the home front after that....Until 4:30 when he came in our room wide eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start his day. I told him that it was too early and walked him back to bed. He said he wasn't tired and said he had been up all night. WHAT?!?! I automatically went into panic mode. What does he mean he didn't sleep? How will he function today? What if he crashes at school and falls asleep in his lunch? Oh geesh, what do I do now?
I promptly called his doctor as soon as they opened. The nurse said that it could happen and we had to wait it out. REALLY?! Who waits out a 5 yr old who doesn't sleep?! Luckily, she called back after speaking with the doctor and we were to try half doses for the weekend to see if that would help. Luckily for us and Lane, it seemed to take hold. We could see his focus shift. The noises that were normally his constant companion had stopped. Yet, he was still his funny, adorable self.
We have noticed some changes that we are watching closely, as he has tended to want to spend more quiet time alone. Also, when the meds wear off, he can get a bit crazy. Bouncing off the walls. Dave and I are both hoping that once the medicine really gets into his system, these things will work themselves out.
These last few days have been a definite inner struggle, but I know I have Lane's best interest at heart. Dave and I are both committed to helping him to the best of our ability. Lane is our life. Is this medicine the answer? We don't know. Is their other options available? We still have more researching to do. Is Lane happy and loved? ABSOLUTELY!
The meeting went kind of how I expected. We discussed the checklist that was given to me by the therapist and where Lane falls within that checklist. We discussed his typical behaviors, the paths we have tried thus far, their success level and such. Prescribing medication to a child at Lane's age can be difficult. The questions that are often raised are the ones pertaining to their lack of maturity and the idea that is it something that will come in time, or do we have a bigger issue on our hands? If their is a bigger issue, then the question whether to wait or not was brought up. The Dr. stated that if indeed Lane does have ADHD, it would be detrimental to him to wait until 3rd or 4th grade when his grades are behind and his behavior had worsened. I told him that I wouldn't stop until every stone was overturned in trying to figure out what was best for Lane.
We ultimately decided to try some medicine to see if it indeed would help Lane. Just filling the prescription was a struggle for me. The idea of putting my child on medicine felt wrong. I felt like I was in a way cheating him, like I was giving up. Taking the easy way out. Not able to handle it on my own. Dave and I talked about it afterwards and ultimately did decide to give him some the next morning. Thursday AM, I poured a bit of juice in a glass and emptied the tiny capsule into it, dissolving it into grape juice goodness. Down the hatch it went. Lane seemed unbothered. I, on the other hand felt torn. Would he be ok? Would anyone notice a difference? What if he had bad side effects? What would people think of me? Of him? Of us? UGH! I then emailed his teacher to let her know of our situation (I love his teacher! She is amazing!). She emailed me back that afternoon saying that Lane had a FANTASTIC day! He sat quietly, walked quietly and was eager to learn. YAHOO! I was so excited to hug him, to love on him! I was SO proud of him.
When he got home, he showed Dave and I how he could tie his shoes. This tended to be a task that would create great frustration for him, but there we sat, on the floor in the mud room watching him tie and double knot his Nike's. Amazing. He was beaming. I was beaming. Dave was beaming. That night, he was a little wound up, but I figured it was due to the excitement of his day. Dave and I tucked him in and went to bed ourselves. Before we knew it, Lane was up twice saying he wasn't tired. Finally at around 10, Dave went and sat with him for a bit trying to get him calm. All seemed quiet on the home front after that....Until 4:30 when he came in our room wide eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start his day. I told him that it was too early and walked him back to bed. He said he wasn't tired and said he had been up all night. WHAT?!?! I automatically went into panic mode. What does he mean he didn't sleep? How will he function today? What if he crashes at school and falls asleep in his lunch? Oh geesh, what do I do now?
I promptly called his doctor as soon as they opened. The nurse said that it could happen and we had to wait it out. REALLY?! Who waits out a 5 yr old who doesn't sleep?! Luckily, she called back after speaking with the doctor and we were to try half doses for the weekend to see if that would help. Luckily for us and Lane, it seemed to take hold. We could see his focus shift. The noises that were normally his constant companion had stopped. Yet, he was still his funny, adorable self.
We have noticed some changes that we are watching closely, as he has tended to want to spend more quiet time alone. Also, when the meds wear off, he can get a bit crazy. Bouncing off the walls. Dave and I are both hoping that once the medicine really gets into his system, these things will work themselves out.
These last few days have been a definite inner struggle, but I know I have Lane's best interest at heart. Dave and I are both committed to helping him to the best of our ability. Lane is our life. Is this medicine the answer? We don't know. Is their other options available? We still have more researching to do. Is Lane happy and loved? ABSOLUTELY!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The flu bug bites
Oh what a day!! Yesterday definitely takes the cake as my most disgusting parenting moment to date. Yesterday morning as I was getting out of the shower, Lane ran to me proclaiming that he "throwed up in his bed 3 times" I naturally thought that the deed had just been done, but was quickly educated by him, that this deed had in fact been done overnight. Meaning, he slept in his ICK all night long!!! (insert gagging reflex here) Oh geeze, I am suppose to be the parent, but now I have to try to hold myself together all while cleaning up ICK and dealing with him. The ICK had to wait as I heard new sounds coming from the bathroom.
The poor kiddo was curled over the 'loo tossing his cookies like a pro. I stood behind him, rubbing his back, trying to calm him the best I could. In a quick break from the action, he told me his knees were shaking, so I quickly got him to kneel and that seemed to help a bit (I can't help but remember that I was in that exact position many times in my college days). Once that episode was over, it then moved to the other end...I practically pulled him off the ground in order to make his booty sit down as quickly as I could. I don't think I could have handled cleaning up 2 kinds of ICK in one day!
Luckily, he only had one more puking session after that. Though his bottom end was a different story. Before he would have to "go" he would grab his belly and get a look on his face saying, "oh S%#^!" (no pun intended) We would both scurry to the bathroom just in time. I felt so bad for him, watching him in such discomfort, knowing there wasn't a damn thing I could do to make it better.
Our day was filled with snuggles, pedialite and the BRAT diet. I would like to say that it my magical snuggles that made the ICK stop around 1:00, but I am sure the pedialite and bland food played a much bigger role!
Now here's hoping that the ICK doesn't make a move onto me or Dave. Now that we're engaged, doesn't mean I have to clean up his ICK too, does it???
*I am coming to the realization that many of my posts pertain to Lane and the bathroom. Thinkin' I should get some new material!*
The poor kiddo was curled over the 'loo tossing his cookies like a pro. I stood behind him, rubbing his back, trying to calm him the best I could. In a quick break from the action, he told me his knees were shaking, so I quickly got him to kneel and that seemed to help a bit (I can't help but remember that I was in that exact position many times in my college days). Once that episode was over, it then moved to the other end...I practically pulled him off the ground in order to make his booty sit down as quickly as I could. I don't think I could have handled cleaning up 2 kinds of ICK in one day!
Luckily, he only had one more puking session after that. Though his bottom end was a different story. Before he would have to "go" he would grab his belly and get a look on his face saying, "oh S%#^!" (no pun intended) We would both scurry to the bathroom just in time. I felt so bad for him, watching him in such discomfort, knowing there wasn't a damn thing I could do to make it better.
Our day was filled with snuggles, pedialite and the BRAT diet. I would like to say that it my magical snuggles that made the ICK stop around 1:00, but I am sure the pedialite and bland food played a much bigger role!
Now here's hoping that the ICK doesn't make a move onto me or Dave. Now that we're engaged, doesn't mean I have to clean up his ICK too, does it???
*I am coming to the realization that many of my posts pertain to Lane and the bathroom. Thinkin' I should get some new material!*
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
life as usual
Life has been pretty routine lately, something that I am totally ok with. Sometimes it is so easy for life to get away from us that we forget the comfort of our daily routine. We haven't had any big plans, just hangin', enjoying the simple times.
Dave is in DC until tomorrow for business, which leaves Lane and I to fend for ourselves. Last night was filled with leftovers for dinner and tons of snuggie time. Totally low key, but we both enjoyed it. I capped off my night by falling asleep on the couch. Exciting stuff, huh?
I awoke this morning to rain. Pretty dreary today. A perfect day for sweats, daytime TV and naps. Yet here I am, drinking some cocoa at my desk. It's all part of the routine.
Tomorrow...repeat :)
Dave is in DC until tomorrow for business, which leaves Lane and I to fend for ourselves. Last night was filled with leftovers for dinner and tons of snuggie time. Totally low key, but we both enjoyed it. I capped off my night by falling asleep on the couch. Exciting stuff, huh?
I awoke this morning to rain. Pretty dreary today. A perfect day for sweats, daytime TV and naps. Yet here I am, drinking some cocoa at my desk. It's all part of the routine.
Tomorrow...repeat :)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Spring is a comin'
This weeks weather has been AMAZING compared to the past months. The milder temps have brought us outside to enjoy the sun, wind and scents of spring. Monday evening Dave, Lane and I sat outside as we grilled steak for dinner. It was so nice to sit and listen to the sounds. Lane was excited to see the ducks who live by the creek behind our house. These times are some of my favorite. When I can just sit back and observe my family. It is when no words are needed to be said, we can just be together and enjoy.
This week also brought Spring Break for Lane. He has loved the more relaxed routine of spending time at daycare playing rather than at school learning! He has also loved getting to wear his spring jacket compared to his hefty winter one. His scooter and bike have made their way from the basement and are ready for their spring tune up.
I absolutely love Spring and all of the things it has to offer. More daylight, fresh smells, new plants, spring rain showers, open windows, etc... It all puts me in a spot of happiness.
This week also brought Spring Break for Lane. He has loved the more relaxed routine of spending time at daycare playing rather than at school learning! He has also loved getting to wear his spring jacket compared to his hefty winter one. His scooter and bike have made their way from the basement and are ready for their spring tune up.
I absolutely love Spring and all of the things it has to offer. More daylight, fresh smells, new plants, spring rain showers, open windows, etc... It all puts me in a spot of happiness.
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