AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, SCREEEAAAMMMM.....ok, I feel slightly better. My oh my, life is getting the best of me today and it has only just begun. Today starts the whirlwind of the move, which is eleveating my anxiety to skyscraper proportions. My house is in complete shambles with the items still needing to be packed and I am left at my emotional limit. I am struggling with keeping myself in check all while being mom, fiance, coworker, bride-to-be who is in the final stages of planning her wedding which is just 23 days away, etc... I feel like my plate is about to crack with all the extra weight on it. Yes, I know I should ask for help in times like these, but it is SO hard for me to ask for or accept it. I am REALLY trying, promise!
Last night, Dave and I were on the hunt for a new washer and dryer for our new digs. My goodness, that turned into a fiasco. I guess this time of year is the time when peeps need new appliances, as 2 of the 3 stops were out of the models we were interested in. We finally found a set at the 3rd place. Lets pray that it is still there today so we can have it delivered on Saturday. I am a crazy girl when it comes to my laundry so I NEED my washer and dryer!! Keep your fingers crossed for me today! PLEASE!
Last night was also filled with the not so fun conversation with Lane's dad regarding the recent developments on his behavior. These conversations always make my blood boil as I feel like I am having to explain my parenting to him and defend my decisions regarding Lane and his care. But, as Lane's mom, I have to have the respect to tell him. It is so difficult, because his dad hasn't personally seen Lane when he is at his worst. He has heard him over the phone at times when I have called him during an episode, but he has never seen him try to scratch, pinch, hit, etc. He has rarely heard the screams and phrases that come out of his mouth. To that effect, it's is pretty much a he said she said type of deal where I feel like he is doubting the severity of Lane's condition and my level of parenting. Is this the actual case? I can't say for sure, but that is how I feel when the conversation ends.
I am really gonna try to be positive today. I have a ton of good things happening around me and I need to appreciate that. I hope you all have a great day! It is the perfect fall morning here, which is a definite highlight for me. I LOVE fall and all that comes with it! :)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Full Steam Ahead...
Just stopping by for a quick sec during the whirlwind that is life lately! Sheesh, it has been a crazy ride in the Tuve/almost Thompson household lately! The wedding is T-25 days ways!!! (insert super big smiley face here) But with that T-25 days means life is in a frenzy! Oh yeah, did I mention that within the wedding chaos, we are moving in 4 days! Why I do this to myself, I have not the faintest idea, yet I always seem to throw gas on an already over powered fire!
Yesterday I had my final dress fitting and was able to check one thing off of my never ending list of to dos. Now it's my job to try to keep my stress at bay and the oreos out of my house in order to be able to still fit in that dress! Being in it makes me smile and I hope it has that same effect on the Mister when he sees me in it! :) :) :)
Life of Lane has had some challenges lately. We have found ourselves going backward in the behavior department. After a trip back to his primary doc, we were referred to a new psychologist to try to get some new answers. The outcome....He thinks Lane does in fact have ADHD, but that he has what is called a combined version. Which means that he has both the hyperactive part as well as the inattentive part. Along with that diagnosis, he also said that Lane appears to suffer from Oppositional Defiant Disorder. To put it in to normal terms, he has a behavioral disorder that prevents him from using reason and logic during stressful times. This definitely helps me understand some of his behaviors. Yet, it saddens me as his mama to see him continue to struggle with these issues. The Doc feels that once we get his ADHD under control the behavior issues will hopefully follow. We have a long road ahead of us, but I am confident that we will get past this hurdle!
Hope everyone else is keeping busy! If not, I can give you some work to do! :)
Just a quick note of congrats to my friend Amber. She just had a new baby, Miss Rayna Simone! She's a doll!!
Yesterday I had my final dress fitting and was able to check one thing off of my never ending list of to dos. Now it's my job to try to keep my stress at bay and the oreos out of my house in order to be able to still fit in that dress! Being in it makes me smile and I hope it has that same effect on the Mister when he sees me in it! :) :) :)
Life of Lane has had some challenges lately. We have found ourselves going backward in the behavior department. After a trip back to his primary doc, we were referred to a new psychologist to try to get some new answers. The outcome....He thinks Lane does in fact have ADHD, but that he has what is called a combined version. Which means that he has both the hyperactive part as well as the inattentive part. Along with that diagnosis, he also said that Lane appears to suffer from Oppositional Defiant Disorder. To put it in to normal terms, he has a behavioral disorder that prevents him from using reason and logic during stressful times. This definitely helps me understand some of his behaviors. Yet, it saddens me as his mama to see him continue to struggle with these issues. The Doc feels that once we get his ADHD under control the behavior issues will hopefully follow. We have a long road ahead of us, but I am confident that we will get past this hurdle!
Hope everyone else is keeping busy! If not, I can give you some work to do! :)
Just a quick note of congrats to my friend Amber. She just had a new baby, Miss Rayna Simone! She's a doll!!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Stress happens
Hey all!
Hope all is well with everyone in cyber world. My life has been ubber busy. Not only am I getting married in 47 days, Dave and I found a house and will be moving in about 3 weeks. Yep, wedding, moving, working, Lane's back in school....man the list grows and grows! It is in these times though, that I find myself being productive and disciplined. I am determined to get the tasks done that I set before me. It takes tons of organization along with my massive OCDness, but in the end, it all gets done! Oh yeah, did I mention that not only are we moving, but we are also going to have a moving sale to sell a TON of stuff the weekend before the move. So, not only am I packing, I am sorting and pricing all of the goods.
I don't think I will know what to do with myself once life settles down! I hope your summer ended on a high note!
Hope all is well with everyone in cyber world. My life has been ubber busy. Not only am I getting married in 47 days, Dave and I found a house and will be moving in about 3 weeks. Yep, wedding, moving, working, Lane's back in school....man the list grows and grows! It is in these times though, that I find myself being productive and disciplined. I am determined to get the tasks done that I set before me. It takes tons of organization along with my massive OCDness, but in the end, it all gets done! Oh yeah, did I mention that not only are we moving, but we are also going to have a moving sale to sell a TON of stuff the weekend before the move. So, not only am I packing, I am sorting and pricing all of the goods.
I don't think I will know what to do with myself once life settles down! I hope your summer ended on a high note!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Life Wagon
Sadly, my blogging has continued to remain buckled in the backseat of my life wagon. Life...yeah...it's busy! The summer is winding down while wedding prep is in full swing! 59 days to go! Eeeek!
Yesterday I got Lane registered for school, which starts in just over a week. It is so hard to believe that I am a mom to a 1st grader! School clothes, socks, undershirts, supplies and shoes have all been purchased. His backpack is stocked, waiting for the day. Lane found his fully stocked backpack and proceeded to locate his new scissors... (ya know where this story is goin'?) I then found him in the bathroom, scissors in hand. Thank GOD I got to him before he did any damage! Thankfully all of his hair was intact, allowing my heart rate to return to normal.
This school year I am trying something different. I am packing his lunches instead of him getting it at school. I am having a hard time deciding what I should put in his box, as he isn't the most adventurous eater on the planet. I know he will quickly grow tired of PB&J. What do your kids love in their lunches?
On the wedding front, life consists of lists, lists and more lists. Once I get one done, another one is immediately started. I am so excited for the day to get here but am going bananas until then. I am so lucky though to have great family and friends to help me along the way! I have my first dress fitting on the 27th and am SO excited to see the dress come together. Both Dave and I can't wait to celebrate with our family and friends!
Yesterday I got Lane registered for school, which starts in just over a week. It is so hard to believe that I am a mom to a 1st grader! School clothes, socks, undershirts, supplies and shoes have all been purchased. His backpack is stocked, waiting for the day. Lane found his fully stocked backpack and proceeded to locate his new scissors... (ya know where this story is goin'?) I then found him in the bathroom, scissors in hand. Thank GOD I got to him before he did any damage! Thankfully all of his hair was intact, allowing my heart rate to return to normal.
This school year I am trying something different. I am packing his lunches instead of him getting it at school. I am having a hard time deciding what I should put in his box, as he isn't the most adventurous eater on the planet. I know he will quickly grow tired of PB&J. What do your kids love in their lunches?
On the wedding front, life consists of lists, lists and more lists. Once I get one done, another one is immediately started. I am so excited for the day to get here but am going bananas until then. I am so lucky though to have great family and friends to help me along the way! I have my first dress fitting on the 27th and am SO excited to see the dress come together. Both Dave and I can't wait to celebrate with our family and friends!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Life Lately...
Wow, life has taken over lately! I've been MIA recently doing the whole mom, work, fiance planning a wedding thing. Guess life has gotten away from me a bit. So, lets sit down, chat, regroup. Shall we??
The mom gig has been pretty darn good lately. The kiddo made it back from DC. Survived 25 days without his mama and had his first plane ride. It is nice to have him back. The house feels like home again with all of his noises and giggles. Yes, there are some tantrums too, but I suppose it is all par for the course. I love him and am so glad he's back!
Work has been pretty much the norm, which is actually quite nice. With all of the other projects and and activities taking up the majority of my brain, it is nice to fall into the normal routine of the 8 hr work day.
Wedding....IT IS FAST approaching! I think I forgot all of the planning that went into the first one. The second one seems to be a bit more, but seems so much more worth it :) I am a happy girl who can't wait to marry my man! I think we have the majority of all of the little things done. Now is time to make lists upon lists upon lists to make sure that nothing is forgotten or not done how I had imagined it. (This is sure to be a challenge for me as I am not able to be present when the tables and decorations are being set up) I have a slight inward freak out about this almost daily, but try to remember that I have assigned my amazing cousin, Shawna to oversee the assembly. I am trying to get in tip top wedding shape, yet the stress of it all has me craving Oreos and ice cream. :( I haven't been able to work out like I would like due to the whole LIFE IS CRAZY thing goin' on. I NEED to get back into the swing of it! I just need to figure out where to fit it in again.
How's your summer going? Any fun trips or activities?? Tell me about 'em! :)
The mom gig has been pretty darn good lately. The kiddo made it back from DC. Survived 25 days without his mama and had his first plane ride. It is nice to have him back. The house feels like home again with all of his noises and giggles. Yes, there are some tantrums too, but I suppose it is all par for the course. I love him and am so glad he's back!
Work has been pretty much the norm, which is actually quite nice. With all of the other projects and and activities taking up the majority of my brain, it is nice to fall into the normal routine of the 8 hr work day.
Wedding....IT IS FAST approaching! I think I forgot all of the planning that went into the first one. The second one seems to be a bit more, but seems so much more worth it :) I am a happy girl who can't wait to marry my man! I think we have the majority of all of the little things done. Now is time to make lists upon lists upon lists to make sure that nothing is forgotten or not done how I had imagined it. (This is sure to be a challenge for me as I am not able to be present when the tables and decorations are being set up) I have a slight inward freak out about this almost daily, but try to remember that I have assigned my amazing cousin, Shawna to oversee the assembly. I am trying to get in tip top wedding shape, yet the stress of it all has me craving Oreos and ice cream. :( I haven't been able to work out like I would like due to the whole LIFE IS CRAZY thing goin' on. I NEED to get back into the swing of it! I just need to figure out where to fit it in again.
How's your summer going? Any fun trips or activities?? Tell me about 'em! :)
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Life Changes
Life changes daily, yet in many ways it stays just the same. You get up, eat breakfast, kiss your kids, go to work, etc... each day has the familiar comfort of being exactly the same...comfortable. Then, there are times that life changes, your normal thinking patterns are challenged and you are standing at the fork in the road, forcing yourself to go down the path you know, the comfortable unchanging path, or down the new and different path, where comfortable is not always the option and change is evident.
For me, I have lived my life alone. Have I had others around me? Yes. Have I had others that love me? Yes. Yet, I have held them all at a distance, leaving my emotions and feelings to myself. Throughout my life, I have been the person that others turn to and have never allowed myself to be the person to turn to others. I have lived 29 years of my life keeping my emotions hidden away from the outside world. Recently though, I have started to take steps, baby steps, in reaching those emotions and finding out who in the hell this girl is without the emotional baggage that I have held on to for so long. This turn in the road has been nothing less than terrifying. I am being forced to think, to feel. It is amazing the amount of vulnerability that comes to the surface, making me feel completely stripped of my barriers against feeling.
Many days I go throughout my day completely overwhelmed at the process that I have begun. I am constantly doubting thoughts, decisions, conversations, etc... I guess I should though, look at the fact that I haven't quit yet. I haven't yet turned back to go down the road that I know, the one that I am comfortable with. I am scared as hell, as I feel like I am walking in the dark without a flashlight, afraid of what might jump out and grab me. Throughout my darkness, I am trying to keep in mind that in time, day will break and the darkness will begin to ease, bringing with it light and opportunity.
For me, I have lived my life alone. Have I had others around me? Yes. Have I had others that love me? Yes. Yet, I have held them all at a distance, leaving my emotions and feelings to myself. Throughout my life, I have been the person that others turn to and have never allowed myself to be the person to turn to others. I have lived 29 years of my life keeping my emotions hidden away from the outside world. Recently though, I have started to take steps, baby steps, in reaching those emotions and finding out who in the hell this girl is without the emotional baggage that I have held on to for so long. This turn in the road has been nothing less than terrifying. I am being forced to think, to feel. It is amazing the amount of vulnerability that comes to the surface, making me feel completely stripped of my barriers against feeling.
Many days I go throughout my day completely overwhelmed at the process that I have begun. I am constantly doubting thoughts, decisions, conversations, etc... I guess I should though, look at the fact that I haven't quit yet. I haven't yet turned back to go down the road that I know, the one that I am comfortable with. I am scared as hell, as I feel like I am walking in the dark without a flashlight, afraid of what might jump out and grab me. Throughout my darkness, I am trying to keep in mind that in time, day will break and the darkness will begin to ease, bringing with it light and opportunity.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Missing Bubba Blues
Today it has been 12 days since I have seen my little man. Going a bit batty! Luckily, I have gotten to talk to him daily. This is something that he requested and I secretly loved hearing. Even though he is away, he still wants to talk to his mama! So far so good for him with his Dad. They haven't had to deal with the struggles that we face here on the home front. I have to admit, there are times that it bothers me that he doesn't have to experience the obstacles that Dave and I face on a daily basis, yet I am happy that Lane is enjoying his time away. BUT...there is a little mama feeling a bit blue that her baby is having a ton of fun without her :( boo. Yes, this is my baby time. I am feeling slightly sorry for myself in his absence. I am longing for his hug and to see his smile. Dave and I talk about him daily and think about how much Lane would enjoy this or that and become a bit sad because he is missing it. We are making plans for his return, making sure that we too get to create some great summer memories for him. We are contemplating a trip to Chicago and Adventureland. Weekend pool stops are a must. Dinner with friends, playdates, etc...
I miss my babydoll. 13 days and counting until his return!
I miss my babydoll. 13 days and counting until his return!
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