Wednesday was the big day meeting with Lane's physician regarding starting him on any medication for his struggles. I had mixed emotions going into the meeting. On top of those, that was the morning of Lane's puke fest, so I was feeling a bit high strung. I think within the last year, Lane has been to the doctor/therapist more times than I can remember. However, as long as it helps meet the long term goal of helping him, I am all in.
The meeting went kind of how I expected. We discussed the checklist that was given to me by the therapist and where Lane falls within that checklist. We discussed his typical behaviors, the paths we have tried thus far, their success level and such. Prescribing medication to a child at Lane's age can be difficult. The questions that are often raised are the ones pertaining to their lack of maturity and the idea that is it something that will come in time, or do we have a bigger issue on our hands? If their is a bigger issue, then the question whether to wait or not was brought up. The Dr. stated that if indeed Lane does have ADHD, it would be detrimental to him to wait until 3rd or 4th grade when his grades are behind and his behavior had worsened. I told him that I wouldn't stop until every stone was overturned in trying to figure out what was best for Lane.
We ultimately decided to try some medicine to see if it indeed would help Lane. Just filling the prescription was a struggle for me. The idea of putting my child on medicine felt wrong. I felt like I was in a way cheating him, like I was giving up. Taking the easy way out. Not able to handle it on my own. Dave and I talked about it afterwards and ultimately did decide to give him some the next morning. Thursday AM, I poured a bit of juice in a glass and emptied the tiny capsule into it, dissolving it into grape juice goodness. Down the hatch it went. Lane seemed unbothered. I, on the other hand felt torn. Would he be ok? Would anyone notice a difference? What if he had bad side effects? What would people think of me? Of him? Of us? UGH! I then emailed his teacher to let her know of our situation (I love his teacher! She is amazing!). She emailed me back that afternoon saying that Lane had a FANTASTIC day! He sat quietly, walked quietly and was eager to learn. YAHOO! I was so excited to hug him, to love on him! I was SO proud of him.
When he got home, he showed Dave and I how he could tie his shoes. This tended to be a task that would create great frustration for him, but there we sat, on the floor in the mud room watching him tie and double knot his Nike's. Amazing. He was beaming. I was beaming. Dave was beaming. That night, he was a little wound up, but I figured it was due to the excitement of his day. Dave and I tucked him in and went to bed ourselves. Before we knew it, Lane was up twice saying he wasn't tired. Finally at around 10, Dave went and sat with him for a bit trying to get him calm. All seemed quiet on the home front after that....Until 4:30 when he came in our room wide eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start his day. I told him that it was too early and walked him back to bed. He said he wasn't tired and said he had been up all night. WHAT?!?! I automatically went into panic mode. What does he mean he didn't sleep? How will he function today? What if he crashes at school and falls asleep in his lunch? Oh geesh, what do I do now?
I promptly called his doctor as soon as they opened. The nurse said that it could happen and we had to wait it out. REALLY?! Who waits out a 5 yr old who doesn't sleep?! Luckily, she called back after speaking with the doctor and we were to try half doses for the weekend to see if that would help. Luckily for us and Lane, it seemed to take hold. We could see his focus shift. The noises that were normally his constant companion had stopped. Yet, he was still his funny, adorable self.
We have noticed some changes that we are watching closely, as he has tended to want to spend more quiet time alone. Also, when the meds wear off, he can get a bit crazy. Bouncing off the walls. Dave and I are both hoping that once the medicine really gets into his system, these things will work themselves out.
These last few days have been a definite inner struggle, but I know I have Lane's best interest at heart. Dave and I are both committed to helping him to the best of our ability. Lane is our life. Is this medicine the answer? We don't know. Is their other options available? We still have more researching to do. Is Lane happy and loved? ABSOLUTELY!
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