Teen Mom: Big bucks for bad parenting

As a single mother who works a 40 hr per week job to support my child, I was completely appalled when I read an article referring to the income earned by a "star" of MTV's show, Teen Mom. The article, from msnbc.com stated that a teen mom earns $280K for her "work" on the show! Are you flipping kidding me?!?! I myself have watched the show and am so in shock that this girl, this CHILD is getting paid that amount of money and can't even manage to get her GED! She is getting rewarded for her stupidity and bad parenting!

It infuriates me as a parent who is providing for my son the right, respectable way to see someone being rewarded for bad behavior. I had my son when I was an adult and responsible enough to be a parent and could adequately provide for him. I graduated high school as well as college. She, on the other hand, can't manage to pass her practice test in order to receive her GED! Yet, she is making more money than many college graduates who put in 40+ hours per week to provide for their family! That just does not seem LOGICAL to me!

After reading this article, I am completely turned off from ever watching that program again. It is completely hypocritical to portray these girls' as young, struggling mothers. When in actuality, they are making out far better than the general two-parent household.

If you are interested in reading the article, check out the link below

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/40853908/ns/today-entertainment/

Withdrawl

Is it possible to be addicted to your kids? If so, I think there needs to be a patch invented for the parents who have to share their children with an ex spouse. I haven't seen Lane since 5:30 on the 25th and am starting to go a bit loony. Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely loved the alone time with Dave this week. We went on a shopping trip this weekend, followed by a great dinner and overnight stay out of town. Last night was dinner with friends, which was filled with laughter and great conversation. But... every night when I go to bed, I look into Lane's empty room and miss him so much my heart hurts. We have a routine that we do every morning where I climb into his bed for a few minutes of snuggle time before the day begins. There is no better feeling than having him burrow his body next to mine and sling his arm sleepily around my neck. I miss his laugh, his smile, his smell. I miss all of him.

I am lucky enough to be able to talk to him each night, which helps greatly. It is so nice to hear his voice and for him to tell me that he loves and misses me. I can't wait until Sunday when he finally gets home! I am thinking a long cuddle session is in order. But wait, I am sure I will need to compete with all of the new toys! Oh well, as long as I have him home and can peek in on him, I will be just fine!

Body after baby...5 years later

To my male readers, I apologize in advance for my rant.

Weight gain and body changes during pregnancy are expected. There is even a suggested amount of weight a woman is supposed to gain while pregnant. When I became pregnant I understood that things would change, but I had NO idea how hard it would be to try to get back to my pre-baby body. Heck, I just wanted a tiny resemblance of my former self! The day I got my first stretch mark, I bawled in the bathroom and demanded that my husband go to Walmart to buy cocoa butter lotion. Sadly, the lotion was useless.

Throughout my pregnancy, I gained approximately 25 lbs. Though that is the norm, the extra weight was something that I couldn't quite get use to. After Lane was born, I was excited for those extra pounds to melt away. Little did I know that the battle wouldn't take months, but years. My belly had turned into a mushy, squishy mess. I felt like the Muffin-top Queen as I tried to slip back in to normal clothes. Even as the weight began to shed, the jiggly bits remained.

Throughout the years, I have succeeded in losing the weight that I gained during pregnancy, as well as the extra pounds I gained after. At my heaviest, I was pushing the scales at 150 lbs. To some, this might not seem like a lot of weight, but on my 5'3" frame, it was too much to handle. To date, I have lost about 35 lbs. Though I am over the moon by my weight loss, I still can't help but be disgusted with my messy midsection. No matter how many sit ups, planks, crunches, etc that I do, I can't seem to firm up. Some say it is the battle scars of pregnancy. I guess I just have to try to look past it and be happy. Please tell me that some other moms out there have the same feelings of helplessness in their quest for tight, flab free abs.

Santa Claus and smoke detectors

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a great day with family and friends. Well, Santa did indeed make an appearance at the Tuve/Thompson household. No matter how hard I tried, I knew that Lane would indeed get his beloved DS. Last night after he left his cookies, milk and box of macaroni 'n cheese, Santa gifts arrived. This morning before Lane got up, Dave ran to the living room to record the moment of joy. Maybe we were expecting too much, 'cause he came out, smiled a bit, then acted as if he knew the whole time that Santa and his gifts would be arriving on Christmas morning! I was mildly disappointed as I think I was hoping for the next youtube sensation.

Though Lane's morning didn't begin until 7am, ours started a bit earlier when our smoke detector's battery decided to take a dive and we were left with a BEEP every few minutes or so. The detector has since been removed and is beeping away in the cupboard in the laundry room. Of all the days to die, it HAD to pick one of the very few mornings that weren't required to begin at 5:15! GRRRR!

After presents, we moved on to our tradition of chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Lane had his fill of cakes and as he calls it, warm chocolate. It was a great morning of quality family time. Lane and Dave set up Lane's new race track. The purpose for this was primarily for Dave's entertainment only. I do quite possibly believe that the racetrack was more for his enjoyment than Lane's! As they watched 2 cars spin around a track, I was able to relax with my coffee and catch up on some of my guilty pleasure, "Real Housewives of New Jersey"! Yes, I know, it is probably not the most festive program to watch on Christmas morning, but come on, who doesn't laugh?!

Our day couldn't have been better. We spent it relaxing and laughing with family. Something that we don't get the chance to do nearly enough. I think we all ate as if we wouldn't eat again for days, and then decided to go back for more just because it was there.

Tonight Lane left to spend a week with his dad. I have to say that is the only thing that put a damper on our day. Though he needs to have quality dad time too, Dave and I miss our nightly cuddle time with our little guy. :(

Just a few things I learned this Christmas...

1. Check your smoke detectors and check them often.
2. Watching kids at Christmas is an irreplaceable memory
3. Dave is a really good gift giver. An amazingly beautiful diamond bracelet now belongs to me :)
4. It never fails that my mom will cry over a gift that she receives.
5. I am a pretty darn lucky girl to have so many great people in my life!

Strange addictions

I read an article recently regarding people with strange addictions. One lady was addicted to eating toilet paper, while another drank laundry detergent!  I can't even begin to comprehend how they came up with the idea that either of these substances would be pleasing to the pallet! The article was based on a show that I had seen a few months back focusing on the same topic. In that show there was a guy who was addicted to running. At first I didn't think that was too out of the ordinary, but later learned that he ran almost 100 miles a week! As I was training for my marathon I became overwhelmed at my 30 or so miles in a week!

I guess it just proves that all of us are different. Some more than others!  So, if any of my friends are addicted to laundry detergent, please let me know so that can be the next gift idea :)

Tuesdays

Out of the seven days of the week, Tuesday is BY FAR my least favorite. Why, you ask? Because it just seems like everyone is cranky and things just don't go as planned.  Now, logic would tell us that Monday would be the worst day, as it is the first day back from the weekend. Not for me, the Tuesday blues are something I experience almost every week!  Lets start with this morning. I was in the middle of a great sleep and BAM, it is time to get up! I then proceeded to run around in shambles trying to get laundry in, dishes picked up and Lane's wild mane combed before we walked out the door. It just seems like I am always a step behind where I am suppose to be.  I realize that I could be mentally sabotaging myself each week by dreading the day to come. I don't intentionally hate Tuesdays, they just always seem to, for a lack of a better word, SUCK!

Just call me Betty Crocker

My weekend was spent in the kitchen baking all of my holiday goodies! (I think I could have given Paula Dean a run for her money with the amount of butter that was used!) I absolutely LOVE this time of year and I LOVE making these memories with Lane! This year he actually agreed to help me in the process rather than just waiting until the end to eat the goods. He very diligently unwrapped all of the Hershey Kisses and then poured in some chocolate chips. He wasn't so much into the measuring and mixing, but hey, he's 5! For his efforts though, he was the designated taster. He got to try one of each type of goodie. Out of the 4 different types of cookies, scotcharoos, Ritz crackers with peanut butter dipped in chocolate, and pumpkin balls, I think the pumpkin balls were his favorite. Although, I did get a thumbs up for all :) The boy likes sweets, just like his mama!

I am so excited for this week! 4 days of work then 3 days off to celebrate! Lane is so excited for Santa (Yes, it does appear that he will be making an appearance after all). He is sure ready for Christmas to be over because he is counting down the days that are left for him to "be good" so he gets his DS.  I am hoping to be able to pry him away from it long enough to do our other Christmas tradition of chocolate chip pancakes and hot cocoa on Christmas morning!  It will be him, Dave and me lounging around in our jammies, just enjoying each other. What could be better!?  What are some traditions that you and your family do for the holiday? I would love to hear!

Things that I love...

In no particular order, though starting with the obvious...

-My son.  He is EVERYTHING to me.

-God.  He is the reason I am here

-My family and friends. The people in my life are irreplaceable and I am so thankful for them all.

-Laughter. I love to laugh so hard that I cry.

-Chocolate. Lets face it, it's what makes the world go 'round!

-Food (a lot of it)

-Saturday morning snuggle time. It is by far the best part of my week!

-Books. I love everything about them.

-Wine

-Learning

-Naps. Nothing like falling asleep while watching a movie on a weekend afternoon.

-Singing to the radio. In my world, I can sing just as good as the pros! :)

-My mama's cookin'. This again goes back to my love of food. Yet, no one can cook like mom.

-Dave. Never in my life did I expect to find someone who would stand by me no matter what and love me unconditionally.  I am such a lucky girl.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's Christmas time! We are surrounded by lights, trees, music and cheer! We get in the mode of preparing our houses for family and friends. Making sure everything looks just right. Some people dare to go to great lengths in order to purchase the perfect gift. Standing in line for what seems like hours just to see the look on the reciepants face as they open their present. I love Christmas just as much as the next guy, but I am trying to teach Lane that the day is so much more than presents and Santa. Yesterday on our drive home, I asked him what he was most excited for about Christmas. He replied with great excitment that he was excited for presents of course! Just like most children, he can't wait to see what awaits him under the tree!  Though I too can't wait to see his face, I think it is important to let him know the true meaning of the holiday, that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus. I told him that it was a time to celebrate him and to be thankful for all that we have becasuse of him.  After my brief, kid friendly explanation, it seemed to sink in at least a little bit. Shortly after, he came back to normal and asked if he is getting his Nintendo DS! I guess this lesson will be a work in progress! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Boys will be boys

For those readers who know me, know that I am a girly-girl in every aspect of my life. I am almost always put together and absolutely HATE being dirty! So, you can bet that my girliness has been put to the test several times since I have welcomed my blue colored bundle of joy, 5 1/2 years ago! From the get go, Lane has been all about pooping, burping and tooting. If it stinks, he loves it!  His most current fascination is that of tooting. Now, I know this is something that everyone does. But come on, is it REALLY that funny? Maybe it's just a gender thing and I should succumb to the fact that boys like stink. 

Aside from the stink factor, I also have people haggling me for my particular ways. In my world stains are not allowed.  If they happen, the clothes magically disappear. Holes in jeans are also a no-no. Drives me crazy! I've been told that patches work wonders, but my OCD can't stand the idea. So, until I am able to let my control go, we will continue to frequent our local department stores.  I guess my way of thinking is that Lane is a reflection on me. If he looks bad then I feel that people could look bad on me as a parent. I know a little Kool-Aid stain doesn't mean I am the world's worst mom, but I feel that I have a duty as a parent to have my child begin each day by putting his best foot forward.

Now, I am in no way saying that I never allow Lane to get dirty. I simply think there is a time and place for it. AND, if playing in the dirt is part of that days activities, then I need to be told in advance so that I can prepare!(I need to prepare myself for anxiety as well as get Lane some old clothes) Please tell me that other people reading this have some of the same views...it would make me feel better!

Santa Claus is coming to town! Well, maybe...

Before I dive into the whole idea of my title to this post, it is essential to give some back story.  For several months, Lane has been having a really hard time listening as well as keeping his hand, feet and saliva to himself. Almost daily, I would pick him up from daycare and have an incident report waiting for me to sign. It seemed like no matter what I would do for discipline, nothing would work. He would still continue to hit! So, in desperation I thought of a plan to try to get him to stay on good behavior. The day before Thanksgiving, he received a letter in the mail from the North Pole. The letter went as follows:
 

      Dear Lane,

        Hello from the North Pole! Christmas time is coming and I am busy checking my NAUGHTY and NICE list before I pack my sleigh.  As I was going through my list, your name has appeared several times on the NAUGHTY side.  My elves have told me that you have been having trouble with hitting, as well as keeping a good attitude towards your parents and teachers.  I know that you are a good boy, Lane.  It would sadden me greatly if I were not able to visit you on Christmas Eve and bring you your presents.  But I must tell you that Rudolph and the other reindeer will have to pass by your house if you continue to stay on the NAUGHTY side. Do your best to keep your hands to yourself and to listen to those in charge.  I hope that when I check my list again just before Christmas, your name will appear on the NICE side.  I know you can do it!!!

                                                                                                         Love, 

                                                                                                         Santa

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so the ammo was in place. Now all he had to do was take the bait.  Let me tell you, he did NOT like hearing from the man in red!  Though he wasn't happy with the letter, it has seemed to work, at least a little!  He has caught himself when beginning to act inappropriately, and makes sure to tell Santa when he is being a good boy.  We still have some bad days, but overall, I am happy!  13 days until Christmas...will Mr. Claus be making an appearance???  Stay tuned!

If at first you don't succeed...

Being a parent is by far more challenging than I could have ever imagined. There are so many things to learn along the way. And in the learning process, I find myself constantly second guessing my decisions, wondering if what I am doing is right for Lane.  Here is the back story...

In much of our daily routine and life, Lane is very easy going and fun. However, there are times when a switch clicks inside him and he turns into a different child.  The switch generally happens at either school or daycare and lingers once we are home. While there, he has a tendency to hit, kick, scratch and spit at not only other students, but teachers as well. There have been times that he has gotten as many as 19 incident reports in one week while at daycare.  I find myself at a loss of where to turn next. I have tried timeouts, taking toys away, spending a night in his room, early bedtime, taking away of privileges, EVERYTHING!  I have even gone as far as taking him to a psychologist, wondering if there was something deeper that I wasn't seeing. Well, after two meetings with him, he basically told me that Lane is just fine and is simply a tad behind in the maturity scale when it comes to his concept of thinking before acting. 

I know he is a professional, but come on guy, I need something more!  My child is known as the bully at school! As a parent, I am at my limit. I have no idea what direction to go next and hate that I have to constantly be reprimanding Lane on an almost nightly basis for his actions while at school. When I ask him why he does such things, his answer is always either an I don't know or that he didn't like what he was being asked to do. He knows what he is doing is wrong, yet continues to do it anyway.

A parents love for their child is so deep that we will do anything to make things better for them. When they are crying, we wipe their tears. When they sick, we make them better. That's our job.  I am feeling today like I'm not getting it, there is something I am missing in him. When you are unable to help your child the way you should, it leaves you feeling helpless. I have another appointment scheduled with a new Dr. next Friday and will keep going until we get to the bottom of this, one way or another!

The Family Jewels

Today after work, I go to daycare to pick up Lane. Once inside, I noticed that he was walking a little awkward. When he walked, he said ouch several times.  After gathering his things, we headed to the car where I proceeded to ask him why he was walking so funny and what was hurting him.  He looked up at my and said, "Mom, today Dylan kicked me in the privates, and it hurt really bad." I of course start going over the questions listed in the Mother's Guide that all mother's get after labor (you know the one. It gives you all of the answers regarding your kids and their needs and how to figure everything out). When did it happen? How much did it hurt? Can he go potty? All off the essentials were covered.

Once in the car, I tried to change subjects to his day in general. As he answered, he was breathing really hard. I asked him why, and he said "because my weenie hurts real bad!" I asked him if he cried when it happened and he said, "Yeah, I cried really loud." Poor kid!  Then I asked him if he fell on the ground (as this is what I see adult men do if they happen to get injured down there). Thankfully that answer was no, so it sounds like he took it "like a man" as they say! Though it didn't bring him to his knees, there I sat, unsure of what to do next. We proceeded to our destination and then walked straight to the bathroom where I had to examine the injury. What exactly I was looking for, I'm not sure.  Well, thankfully all things looked as "normal" as I could tell, as I am not an expert on that anatomy!

Once home, I made sure nothing was abnormal when going potty, and thankfully all was well. He complained of a slight discomfort, but didn't seem to have trouble with the action.  Phew! Now I will just have to watch it and make sure he continues to be able to go normally and all should be good!

Once Dave got home, Lane had to tell him about his escapade at school, including a show and tell session!  I had to sit and chuckle as Dave hasn't had to do any of the parenting "stuff" pertaining to body parts yet!  Who better to look at it than someone who knows what to look for?! Dave gave him the all clear and as of now he seems to be back to his crazy self! Thank goodness!

I guess I should feel relieved that Lane survived his first boy injury and be happy that I can still have grandchildren someday down the road. :)  Oh the joys of mommyhood!

Memories...

During the Christmas season, it inevitable not think about the people you have lost throughout the years.  Last night as I was dozing off to sleep, I was flooded with memories of a man that to me is irreplaceable and greatly missed.  This person was my Great-Uncle Harry. It seems as a child, everyone has that one person who they idolize. For me, it was him.  From stories that I have heard throughout my childhood, it seems as if we were attached from our first meeting.  My first memories are filled with his face, his laugh and his hugs.

Harry was a simple man. He loved God and his family. An image that has stuck with me is him on his knees at the end of his bed with his head is his hands, praying. He knew that before he took his first steps each day he needed to give thanks for the gifts that he received from a God who loved him.  For him it was simple. If you love and obey God, the rest will fall into place. I think that is something that many people today forget to do. I know that I too get so caught up in life that I forget to thank God for the little things that he blesses me with each day. I find myself trying to live my life as I see fit and forget that he has a plan for me and it is my duty as his follower to do just that…to follow.  Now, I know that not all people who might read this have the same views as I do when it comes to life and God. But I guess I just ask you this…maybe try to stop for a second. Think about the little things each day that make you happy, that bring you joy. 

It has been 10 years since he has passed. Losing him was something I knew would eventually happen. Yet, throughout my life he was the one person who seemed invincible, who would live forever.  I think about him daily and miss him greatly during the holidays, as it is a time for celebration and family.  I miss his red Buick pulling into the driveway and his smile as he would enter our house on Christmas Eve. I miss sitting on his lap as a child, hearing his heart beat as my head was nestled into his chest.  I miss reading to him or calling him on the phone when I had a math problem that to me was unsolvable.  Most of all, I miss the idea that he has missed so much since he left.  10 years of memories with an irreplaceable piece missing.   I guess though, that I should take my own advice and stop for a second and remember that though his physical presence is no longer an option for me, his memories and lessons will live forever.  Thanks to God for this blessing. 

 

Hello out there!

Hello?? Hello?? Is this thing on??  Well, microphone or not, WELCOME to my blog!  I am sweating buckets at the moment as this has been something I have been contemplating for such a long time! If you are taking the time to read my ramblings, I thank you in advance.  This blog is pretty much a fly by the seat of my pants thing. Whatever comes to mind is fair game.

As I sit here, trying to think of something profound to say, I am quickly realizing that this gig could be harder than I thought! I have already typed and erased two paragraphs! Ok, so no more erasing, this thing is supposed to be random and fun!

Ok, a little bit about me. I will be entering my last year of my 20's next week. Kinda have mixed emotions about that. I have accomplished so many things in the past decade, yet somethings are still a work in progress. I got married, had a baby, got divorced and graduated college. Not too shabby for 10 years, excluding the divorce part, but that's a whole different can of worms that doesn't need to be opened yet! By far, the most rewarding of my accomplishments has been my son, Lane. I am sure he will be a topic of many future blogs to come. He is definitely a character and I can't wait for you all to get to know him more.   As any parent reading this knows, your kids are your life, and you almost forget about the life you had before the puking, pooping and crying began.

Well kids, that is just a brief look at me. Can't give ya all the dirt at once, gotta keep you coming back! I hope to write a bit each day. I also hope that I don't bore you to death with my thoughts. So sit back, buckle in, and enjoy the ride... :)