Mama

My mom is my rock. For the 29 years that I have known her, she has always stood strong, anchored, ready for what life throws at her. She has always looked at life as an opportunity and welcomed the challenges that it brings her way. While I was growing up, she worked 3 jobs in order to support herself, my dad and kids while my dad was laid off. There was never a minute of hesitation, just determination to provide for her family. She did it all...

My parents divorced when I was 11. It was during that time that I again saw the strength that my mother possessed. She worked, went back to school and took care of me and my siblings. She was up before the sun and wouldn't sit until the moon was high. She again, did it all...

Just over 10 years ago, my mom began experiencing numbness along with a bluish tint in her fingers. After examination, it was determined that she had a slight blockage in an artery that would require her to have a stint placed across her chest to remedy the symptoms. Sounds simple enough....

After the procedure, my mom woke up in excruciating pain. A pain that medicine wouldn't fix. After further investigation, it came to light that during surgery, my mom's surgeon pinched a nerve, leaving it without blood flow for over 20 minutes, causing permanent nerve damage running down my mom's right arm. To put it in easy to understand terms, my mom's arm felt like it was on fire. The nerves were constantly "firing" causing an unmeasurable amount of pain. After medications failed, she again went under the knife to cut the sympathetic nerve in the hopes of ending the pain once and for all. We all waited in anticipation for her to wake up and see the outcome. Sadly, she was just as bad, if not worse than she was before. In a matter of months my mom went from doing it all to needing someone to help her do the simplest things. She had to relearn to write, how to hold her fork, etc. Seeing my mom like this was something I was so unprepared to witness. Throughout my life she has been unstoppable. She was the one always handing out help, but had now become the one needing it.

More months went by with no end to her pain. Clothes were painful, as her pain spread from her arm to her chest, back and hip. It was then that she was referred to a pain clinic in Cedar Rapids where she received 7 electrodes placed into her spine with a remote inserted into her belly to transmit electric shocks to deaden the pain. This, at times, seemed to work. However, our success was short lived, as her body became immune to the unit and no longer supplied her with the relief she needed.

Throughout this journey, my mom has been diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD). RSD is a disorder that is characterized as severe chronic pain that includes a burning sensation. My mom went from invincible to fragile. It has been over 10 years since I have been able to give my mom a hug with both arms. I can't squeeze her, just gently pat her good side. She has good days as well as bad. But the thing that astonishes me, is that through her pain, my mom is still living her life. Loving her family. Doing it all....