Therapy, growing, changing...

Lane had his 3rd therapy meeting today. It is definitely a long process but each time I think we both come out of it with more understanding and the ability to change. Today started off like the past 2 where the Dr. asked how Lane has been with his behavior, if I have seen anything different, triggers, etc. I was so happy to report that his outbursts and anger has greatly decreased. However, when it does make an appearance, it is through outbursts and hurtful phrases such as "I hate you" and "I don't love you". As his momma, it is pretty tough to hear at times, especially in the produce department at the grocery store as I pick out bananas. The doc said these phrases are used as manipulation to get his desired outcome. However, since i don't give in to his wants, the behavior is slowly starting to change. Thank goodness!!

We also talked a lot about how Lane really dislikes talking to his father on the phone as well as the idea that Dave and I many times have to prompt the conversation, telling Lane what to say. I was told that I should no longer enable the relationship between them. That it is not my job to keep it going. Lane's dad needs to learn how to effectively communicate with him. He also thinks that I shouldn't force Lane to talk to him just because I am trying to keep their relationship established. This is something that will definitely be a challenge for me because it will be a struggle to make his father understand the reasoning behind it. I have always thought that as a mom, it is my job to push Lane's relationship with his dad. However, the Dr. is making me realize that I am spending too much time worrying about something that is not in my control. I need to focus on my family here...myself, Lane and Dave. The three of us are a family and that is what Lane associates us as. We are supplying him with the love, support and structure on a daily basis.

Back again in 3 weeks!

Before I go, just wanted to share with you a great song that describes Dave and his relationship with Lane. The two of them are inseparable. It is so humbling for me to watch them together. This song was the first thing I heard today after leaving the appointment...